fartgallery:

people who study poop are called scatologists but i think they should be called turd nerds

4 hours ago · 73,179 notes · Reblog

One of the first things they ask you in the ER is to rate your pain on a scale from 1 to 10. I’ve been asked this question hundreds of times and I remember once, when I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt like my chest was on fire, the nurse asked me to rate the pain. Though I couldn’t speak, I held up 9 fingers. Later, when I started feeling better, the nurse came in and she called me a fighter. “You know how I know?” she said, “You called a 10 a 9.” But that wasn’t the truth.

I didn’t call it a 9 because I was brave. The reason I called it a 9 was because I was saving my 10…and this was it. 

(Source: linseymorris)

4 hours ago · 31,858 notes · Reblog
high resolution →

(Source: unstabl3-equilibrium)

4 hours ago · 2,113 notes · Reblog

mcporno:

hello i’d like to hire an assassin? yes the target is me please murder me

6 hours ago · 52,928 notes · Reblog

thequeerclone:

the fact that there have been no leaked nudes in my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people

10 hours ago · 113,794 notes · Reblog

I brought my little brother Spencer as my date and when I told him I was nominated for this [Hot & Funny] award, he told me that if under any circumstances I won, I had to say the following things. 

19 hours ago · 668,742 notes · Reblog

snickidoodle:

d0nn0:

beyoncevevo:

there needs to be a month between august and september 

october???

son i have news for you

19 hours ago · 42,052 notes · Reblog

cokeflow:

asshairs:

PEOPLE STILL LISTEN TO OWL CITY HAAAAAAAHA

someone obviously doesn’t get 1,000 hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs lmao

(Source: prixcum)

19 hours ago · 338,135 notes · Reblog

pjtr89:

Today a couple friends and I were driving past this high school, and in the football fields there had to be a minimum of 400 seagulls. I start freaking out cause there was so many seagulls, and then I scream “THERE IS A FUCKING SEA OF SEAGULLS.”

19 hours ago · 6 notes · Reblog
high resolution →

(Source: verpennt)

21 hours ago · 127,893 notes · Reblog
kushandwizdom:

Everything Love

kushandwizdom:

Everything Love

21 hours ago · 2,829 notes · Reblog

blastortoise:

Green M&Ms count as vegetables right

(Source: blastortoise-chan)

21 hours ago · 135,091 notes · Reblog
21 hours ago · 574 notes · Reblog
1,511,745 plays

(Source: katara)

21 hours ago · 259,173 notes · Reblog
2o6:

me
high resolution →

2o6:

me

(Source: petromyzon)

22 hours ago · 97,798 notes · Reblog